I noticed something happening to me between Thanksgiving and New Years, something I said would never happen. I was becoming frumpy. I quit showering daily, yikes! I have always showered and washed my hair every day, ever since I was a teen. I do know there are some lucky ladies that don't have to wash their hair daily but I do. It isn't oily, but it clings to my head if it isn't cleansed daily. I got lazy and started sleeping late so when I would finally pull my big lazy body out of bed I would just have time to pull on some sweats and sweep my hair into a sloppy pony tail. Forget about makeup. I would trudge around the house like that all day and when it was time to get the kids I would put on a hat and sunglasses to hide behind so no one would notice how icky I was. I think I was kidding myself.
One day while getting dressed, I caught a glimpse of my half naked body in the mirror. Oh, the horror. There was that marshmallow man from Ghostbusters looking back at me. I looked over my shoulder, sure I would see him peering through my window, but no, it was actually my reflection in the mirror. A blanket of shame and embarrassment came over me. How could I let myself get to be like this? I mean, I knew I was chubby but this, not this! So I stepped on that horrible scale and sure enough, I am 50 pounds overweight. 50! Not the 20 pounds I was after having Elyse a year and a half ago but 50 pounds. I had gained 30 pounds in a year and a half.
I knew I was gaining weight, jeans don't lie. No wonder my diabetes has been out of control and my blood pressure is slowly rising. I wasn't taking care of myself. What happened to that person before kids? The one that played softball, soccer, the person who loved to kayak and mountain bike. I peered closer in the mirror, she has to be in there somewhere, I must find her and free her!
So a New Years Resolution was made. Starting January 1st, I would go back to Weight Watchers. I had had great success with WW after I had Jeff so I know it will work for me again. But wait, I couldn't start January 1st, we had a New Years party to go to and there was sure to be good food there to gorge myself on, the 2nd, I would start the 2nd. Then the 2nd rolled around and the kids and Dave were still home, and we still had the junk in the house, so I couldn't start until that was gone, right!? The 3d for sure would be my start date, yes the 3d!
The 3d came and I started to make yet another excuse, because you see, excuses are easier to make than changes, real changes. That's when I thought of the marshmallow guy that is holding the athletic girl hostage, he was smiling and taunting me. No more excuses. The 3d was my start day. I had a rough first week but since then I have been doing well.
I get up early and take my shower first thing and get dressed, in real clothes. I blow dry my hair and put on make up and face the day with determination and all the confidence I can muster. Now, I'm not saying that I will never have a -no shower, pony tail, no make up, wear sweats all day- again, just not everyday like that bad month.
I have spent so many years taking care of the needs of my family I neglected ME. I need to carve out some guilt free time for myself. I need to take care of me, I am important part of this family too. Now, I am not saying that I will now neglect the needs of my family, they are still the most important people in my life. I am just saying that I deserve the same care too.