Thursday, January 19, 2006

All About Me

I noticed something happening to me between Thanksgiving and New Years, something I said would never happen. I was becoming frumpy. I quit showering daily, yikes! I have always showered and washed my hair every day, ever since I was a teen. I do know there are some lucky ladies that don't have to wash their hair daily but I do. It isn't oily, but it clings to my head if it isn't cleansed daily. I got lazy and started sleeping late so when I would finally pull my big lazy body out of bed I would just have time to pull on some sweats and sweep my hair into a sloppy pony tail. Forget about makeup. I would trudge around the house like that all day and when it was time to get the kids I would put on a hat and sunglasses to hide behind so no one would notice how icky I was. I think I was kidding myself.

One day while getting dressed, I caught a glimpse of my half naked body in the mirror. Oh, the horror. There was that marshmallow man from Ghostbusters looking back at me. I looked over my shoulder, sure I would see him peering through my window, but no, it was actually my reflection in the mirror. A blanket of shame and embarrassment came over me. How could I let myself get to be like this? I mean, I knew I was chubby but this, not this! So I stepped on that horrible scale and sure enough, I am 50 pounds overweight. 50! Not the 20 pounds I was after having Elyse a year and a half ago but 50 pounds. I had gained 30 pounds in a year and a half.

I knew I was gaining weight, jeans don't lie. No wonder my diabetes has been out of control and my blood pressure is slowly rising. I wasn't taking care of myself. What happened to that person before kids? The one that played softball, soccer, the person who loved to kayak and mountain bike. I peered closer in the mirror, she has to be in there somewhere, I must find her and free her!

So a New Years Resolution was made. Starting January 1st, I would go back to Weight Watchers. I had had great success with WW after I had Jeff so I know it will work for me again. But wait, I couldn't start January 1st, we had a New Years party to go to and there was sure to be good food there to gorge myself on, the 2nd, I would start the 2nd. Then the 2nd rolled around and the kids and Dave were still home, and we still had the junk in the house, so I couldn't start until that was gone, right!? The 3d for sure would be my start date, yes the 3d!

The 3d came and I started to make yet another excuse, because you see, excuses are easier to make than changes, real changes. That's when I thought of the marshmallow guy that is holding the athletic girl hostage, he was smiling and taunting me. No more excuses. The 3d was my start day. I had a rough first week but since then I have been doing well.

I get up early and take my shower first thing and get dressed, in real clothes. I blow dry my hair and put on make up and face the day with determination and all the confidence I can muster. Now, I'm not saying that I will never have a -no shower, pony tail, no make up, wear sweats all day- again, just not everyday like that bad month.

I have spent so many years taking care of the needs of my family I neglected ME. I need to carve out some guilt free time for myself. I need to take care of me, I am important part of this family too. Now, I am not saying that I will now neglect the needs of my family, they are still the most important people in my life. I am just saying that I deserve the same care too.


Blogger Veronika said...

You DO deserve the same care as you give! It's so important to take care of ourselves, yet, so easy to put ourselves last.
I shower before I get the kids up, only put on a minimal amt of make-up, and make sure I do my hair. Sure, there are some days I slack but It's so important to take care of ourselves because if we don't, what are we teaching our kids?

10:38 AM  
Blogger Slacker Mom said...

Yes you do deserve to take care of yourself.

have you ever heard the saying, "If mama ain't happy, then no one is happy."? It's so true.

You go girl. I know how hard those days can be, you can do it!

6:06 PM  
Blogger SueeeuS said...

It's 4:08 p.m. and I just pulled on sweats and a turtleneck, after having spent the day in jammies, and I haven't even considered brushing my hair. See, you're not so bad! Me? I'm bad. !! (In my defense, I am sick today, but I have spent many a sloppy day in the past year.)

Best of luck to you!

4:14 PM  

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