Tuesday, December 27, 2005

The Let Down

It's over. Christmas and all the good cheer is over. I am feeling a bit of a let down. The tree is still up but it looks lonely and bare now. It no longer has the presents under it's sprawling branches to protect from a curious toddler or a persistent seven year old. It's branches are starting to droop and turn brown, it's job is over. Soon it will be time to strip it of it's adornment and haul it away.

There is also a sense of relief, it is over. No more lists, baking, frantic shopping, crowds to fight or mass wrapping sessions late at night. No more awkward family gatherings to deal with. The Christmas family get together ended as it usually does, with my hurt feelings and a feeling of being less than, less than them. It hurts, it shouldn't be that way. The self protectiveness of my mind has already started to block the events and comments of the day out. They have been properly labeled and stuffed deep down to that dark area to be dealt with at a later time. Never.


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