Thursday, December 29, 2005

Bye-bye Laundromat

What I learned at the Laundromat.

- Always watch your quarters, they are like gold when it comes to drying that last load.

- Distract the children when the homeless drunk man is bathing in the utility sink so they won't yell out, hey mom look at the naked man. He wasn't completely naked, but it wasn't pretty.

- Do not make eye contact with the older lady who will not quit talking about the five cameras in the coin machine.

-Always watch your quarters, they have a tendency to disappear when your back is turned.

-Do not let your four year old swing from the hanger bar in the laundry cart, no matter how bored he is or crazy he is making you. He will most likely end up with a goose egg on his head, and a crying fit that is only quieted by having frozen peas, purchased from the store next door, held to his head. Oh, and a doughnut.

-Be careful not to put the red underwear in with the rest of the whites. That is a general laundry rule, but when it happens at the Laundromat it is much, much worse.

-Always keep an eye on your quarters, they could be magic quarters and mysteriously disappear.

-Do not make eye contact with the *missionary* lady passing out pamphlets and giving mini sermons. She will judge you.

-Do not let four year old push one year old around in the laundry cart. It can only end in tears and another purchase of frozen peas and doughnuts.

-Hold head up high and silently repeat, I am not the worlds worst mother while holding frozen peas to one year olds head and feeding her doughnuts.

-Never leave the back of your car open with a box of laundry detergent in it. Like the magic quarters it will mysteriously disappear.

-Get there early, the freaks are still in bed and don't come out until late morning.

-Be quick to remove your clothes from the washer or dryer when it is finished. If you don't someone else will.

-Never, never turn your back on your cup of quarters, they will be gone.

-How fortunate I am to have a washer/dryer at home.

-To wear pants with pockets so I can keep my quarters in them.

What I will miss about the Laundromat.

- Nothing, nada, nil, zippo!


Blogger Heather said...

Did you loose a few quarters?? Congrats on the new washer and dryer. Laundry at home is always SOO much more convenient!!

4:56 PM  
Blogger blackbird said...


My children only fell out of things and hurt themselves when a kind stranger pointed out that they were about to fall and hurt themselves.

6:18 AM  
Blogger Veronika said...

That is hilarious! But so true!
Quarters and laundry detergent are like gold!

7:31 AM  
Blogger Slacker Mom said...

I haven't been in a laundromat in years!!

This post reminds of how bad it was. :)

by the way, thanks for your post, it is always good to know we are not alone. :)

9:48 AM  
Blogger Contrary said...

Ack. I too remember the pain of lost quarters and the freaks who live at the laundromat (or, the washateria, as we yokels call it down here).

I'm happy to say I've not had to visit one in years and I'm equally happy to hear that you won't have to either.

1:20 PM  

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